Just For Those In Jumping The Matrix Or 5-Day Grads
I wanted to write this on the Forum, but it might be counter-productive and confusing for L1 people.
Only people in JTM and 5 Day people can view this page.
When You're Up To Speed With Source
There can actually come a time when you can't "feel" Source like you once did. That doesn't mean it isn't there, it's because you are "up to speed with it". Our senses are geared for contrast. We don't notice sameness much as "different-ness". We get quickly used to something when it becomes commonplace.
When we first begin Divine Openings the contrast is huge. We were down there, then we were up here! It was dramatic for many. Then it gets to be routine.
Let me use an airplane analogy. When you take off, you feel the G-Force strongly, like when you began Divine Openings and felt that sharp rise in altitude and velocity. You're actually not going as fast as you'll be when you get to cruising altitude, but once you're in the air, at cruising speed, you feel nothing, no motion, no velocity. Using your senses, you'd swear you were standing still. But you're going 550 miles per hour. Your human senses can be deceiving.
Or use a honeymoon analogy. The love grows deeper after the thrilling honeymoon, but the contrasty high may not be as strong after ten steady, solid years of marriage. It's a reminder to not just go by or for the thrill or the buzz or the high all the time. You'll have those, but you can know, just know, deep inside.
Now let's go up a level. It was very productive in the earlier stages of awakening to have an "intimate relationship" with God. At first I created a concept of God as the perfect parents. Then that was no longer needed and I let it evolve. Then it was a co-creator and partner, and even a honeymoon. It kept expanding from there.
Eventually, you can't have a "relationship" with something that is not even felt as separate from you. You can have a knowing of it, appreciation of it, and a oneness with it.
To put a little humor in it,
when Source tries to feel itself,
what does it feel?
To me it has become less and less like God is something or "someone". God is unfathomable, formless, and all pervasive. It's not limited to meditation time or Divine Openings highs, which I do still get. But I'm not chasing that. Life is still there when I'm not high or in bliss.
What I used to think of as God has become more mysterious and unnamable to the point of not even trying, day to day .... it's Life .... and mystery and miracles ..... and I am part of that. "I" am less all-knowing than The All That Is, but I'm confident it's all still available to me.
When I focus on it, there's not much contrast at times, because I was up to speed with it already.
Someone on the Forum who'd been to the 5 Day two years ago said he didn't know if he believes in God or not, and that didn't shock me one bit. Who cares what we believe, except as it affects our life and ability to create and be happy?
It's challenging to explain the unexplainable, but right now, for me, there's no need for any tidy beliefs. 'No beliefs' is actually more powerful than "good" beliefs. Less limiting. If you've formed some tidy beliefs, try loosening up and just experiencing directly every day instead.
If there's a box you've put God or the absence of God in, try living outside it. I don't need God to be clear to me or have outside indicators of God anymore. How many times does the sun need to come up before you know it's real?
Since I've expanded into that place where it's just normal, it's not very flashy most of the time. Sometimes it is, sometimes it's no big deal.
When I meditate now, I don't go visit or experience God, as if there was an address to go to or someone to look for. I go to the Void, into the mystery, into the Nothing that preceded Something. It is like ceasing to exist, while purely Being. It always feels really good.
Even deeper. It's becoming interesting to communicate on so many different levels with various people. At Level 1 I talk one way. At Level 2, another more expanded reality unfolds. In JTM, we just naturally begin to experience reality yet another way. All the while knowing there's more expansion coming.
The words God or spirituality begin to feel odd for some of us at some point .... how can we name and bottle Life, and the unnameable, untamable Beingness that I Am and You Are.
In ordinary life I don't even like to talk about it -- at ALL! It just seems ridiculous! I just want to live! Now I understand why some sects won't speak the name of God.
In the 5 Day I get to "not talk about it" and just bliss out.
On my private days of silence I just live, and don't have to speak. Words are so limiting and pale, although I am a writer and must use words to enlighten since not everyone can come to the 5 Day, I know the limits of words, and I don't let them limit me.