Does Your Unfolding Enlightenment Mean Your Romantic Relationships Will Last Forever?
Written by Lola Jones on .
There is no one answer for everyone. But it's all good news, no matter how it goes for you.
Some of you will watch your existing relationship transform into a wonderful, next-level relationship that is miraculously different, and perfect for you right now. This won't happen if you scrutinize and judge your partner and stress about them. Just selectively appreciate every little detail of what is good in them. See what you want, say what you want, and let go and let The Divine do the heavy lifting. Your part is to be happy and excited about where you're going, with or without them, and leave the decisions, the "how-to's", and any changes, up to The Divine Presence.
One of three things will happen:
1. Your current partner will shift to match you. (Interestingly, if you're unhappy and judgmental, that wouldn't be so good, would it? So get happy and let go of the outcome!)
or....
2. You will shift so that you are OK with them being however they already are, and they will "feel and look and sound different" to you.
or.....
3. The relationship will transition out of your immediate life,opening space for someone who more closely fits who you've become.
When 1. or 2. happens, there's nothing more to do or talk about - just live happily ever after! Appreciate and multiply your joy. Stop working on your relationship and start living and appreciating. Make love, create, work and play.
There are so many ways it can go. Read this amazing story from someone who did the 5 Day Silent Intensive 11 months ago:
I feel so blessed to have met you and know you a little better. I have an incredible story to tell you. I'm raving!!!!! About a year ago I got a hold of your book. I then went on line to buy it and started reading it. At that point in my life I thought I was going to die, or at least wanted to. I just broke up with the love of my life, Micheal. I remember clinging on to every word of your book. I so desperately wanted to feel better but I didn't know how. I was in a very low vibrational state. I read the book in a few days and decided to sign up for the level one on-line course. The first things I learned were, where my emotions were on the instrument panel and to write down everything I wanted. The first thing I wrote down was that I wanted restoration in my relationships. Micheal's name was the first one I wrote down. Since then I have read your book several more time and have had a few private phone calls with you and have had the privilege to go through the 5-day silent retreat and to help with one. I have felt so happy and have been enjoying life. I have been giving Divine facials to people and have seen first hand what Divine Openings have done for me and for others. I always knew that the love I shared with Michael was Divine and cherished it. I have not heard from him in almost a year and have not seen him around either.
It was just the other day I fully surrendered my heart and let go. One day after I let go, He called me.
We met and it was like we were never apart. We were both on the same vibrational level.
We shared our spiritual journeys and laughed when we realized that they were the same! Being with him feels so different but yet the same. Today I have been reunited with the love of my life. I have given him a Divine facial and he had what seemed like jolts of energy run through parts of his body. Through his one arm at first then when my hands were on his head he jerked like he was just shocked. He could only explain what it wasn't. He said it wasn't like starting to fall asleep and you catch yourself and wake up again. He explained it as electric shock. Have you ever heard of this? Can you explain in your words?
Thank you my dear dear mentor. What you have taught me and have given me has change my life forever! And I know that I will always be happy because you showed me the way to my Divine within!!!!! I love you, LeAnn, Erie, Pa
It's the relationships that end that give us more to talk about....
Some of you will find your old relationship phasing out or abruptly ending. There might be a period of being alone, and you get a chance to develop your inner relatonship with The Divine even more. Eventually a new partner shows up that is more compatible with you than you've ever experienced. They will fit your new vibration better than all your past partners. Let go and let this happen in its own timing. It can't be rushed, and it comes quicker if you relax and enjoy YOUR life. Your happiness in the moment, as you move toward that relationship, is always of vital importance. An aggravated or impatient attitude of "WHEN is it coming?" is not the vibrational attitude that brings it! Your best strategy is to find a way be happy now, have fun now, do what turns YOU on. Do the things you envision you and your love will be doing, but do them alone or with friends -- NOW. Rave about what is great NOW. As soon as you stop thinking about it and live full out NOW, it happens. NOW is where your power is, and it will attract more of that happiness now. Stop and imagine what you are attracting right now.
If you need help with any of this, get some sessions. This is your life! Make the very best of it!
Some of you will need to let go of a current relationship to make space for a new one that fits better. Some have big judgments about this, and attach labels like "failure", "loss", and "grief" to it. I was always blessed with a ability to let it be however it is, and not to consider breakups failures. In this day and age of rapid evolution, it has become more and more common for people to evolve at differing rates and in diverging directions. You could suspend judgment on this and let everyone go the way they go, freeing yourself up to move as guided. Your Large Self is always excited about what is coming next, and doesn't suffer at all from any change. When you are aligned with your Large Self, you will be happy throughout any and all cycles.
I have said goodbye many times in the past when it was time to say goodbye (and sometimes, unfortunately, long after it was time!) Some relationships have their time, and that time passes -- a day, a year, a decade, or maybe longer -- we don't know. Different rates of growth, different paces of evolution, and different choices and desires in life can require letting go. How do you know when it's time. Listen to your Large Self without your mind's interference. It is always very clear and you won't ever need to second guess.
How to tell if it was really love you felt for them? Envision the other person being very happy and fulfilled. True love wants the best for the loved one. Insisting you must be the only person they should love or be happy with is not love, that is possession, or some distorted and limited concept.
If you are the one who is being left, your Large Self is orchestrating it to fulfill what you've been asking for within. You shouldn't be surprised at this. It will seem perfectly obvious once you get it. Even if you still can't get past the small self judgments about it, think about this: Do you want someone who wants to be with you, who adores you totally? Or someone who doesn't? OK! So let go of the one who doesn't want to be with you, and get out of the way while The Presence brings one who does! The sooner you get happy, the faster that happy new person can find you on their radar. You will be invisible to a happy person if you are clinging to suffering. You don't even want the person who'll be attracted to you when you're suffering and down. Move through it and get happy. Divine Openings gives you every tool to do this. People who have never done Divine Openings cannot begin to imagine how powerful those tools are, but most of you already know.
So what's the timing for the new love? It depends on how quickly you can get out of the way, and in alignment with your Large Self.
Here's a test for whether or not you need to be alone for a while during the in-between period:
1. If your Large Self keeps pulling you into silence and solitude, then follow. Be alone for a while. I need more solitude now than I ever did in my life. My relationship with my Large Self is very deep and rich and satisfying, so I give it lots of quality time, just like I would give to a lover. It is my primary lover.
2. If you feel a compulsive desire to have a partner, don't enjoy your life as it is, and don't relish your own company, and the company of The Divine, you need to be alone for a while. Wanting to be with someone to avoid your own feelings, company, and counsel, or wanting to fill a void with another person is addiction, not love, and it will not work. It won't be fulfilling nor will the happiness be lasting. It will be built on need, not wholeness.
I talk about following your inner guidance, and doing what feels good. But you still might wonder, if making a change hurts, why do it? Well, it's all relative. Sometimes a temporary discomfort is necessary for a much larger, longer term gain. Like driving across the desert to get to a wonderful vacation destination in the mountains or by the sea. If you feel temporary lonely or sad while you move through some feelings, it is worth it. You know that with Divine Openings, feelings move incredibly fast, and then you find a whole new level of your power hidden, like buried treasure, beneath those feelings. And you know that if those feelings were not there already, you would not be feeling them during this relationship transition!
With Divine Openings, suffering is optional.
1. The most important thing in the world is following your own inner guidance, letting go to your Large Self's call, and always becoming more fully who you are -- following your bliss. If you don't do that, if you stay in resistance, you resist the good that is calling you in a big way. You may not have thought about resistance in that way. Yes, there is such a thing as resistance to good! One who resists the good that Life is trying to bring, long enough, eventually begins to experience negative physical effects.
2. If you stay with someone when your heart is telling you to go you're not doing them a favor either. It's a vibrational mismatch at that point, and they know it on some level. On some level they are not satisifed either, if you're not. They always feel something is off, but maybe they don't want to admit it. Maybe they fear change or can't be alone. You both deserve better. Hard as it is to be the one to say it, it's even harder on you to live something that is not your highest calling.
3. There is something wonderful ahead for the other person too if they will let it in, and you are setting them free to discover it. If they've been in deep resistance, or not living up to their potential, it catapults them forward. I've seen this several times. My first great love, Charley, and I are still friends 23 years later, and he calls me his "guiding light". He says my leaving him changed his life in a way that nothing else could ever have done. He became a much more conscious person, and more successful in every way.
4. Don't buy the story that people have to stay together "for the kids". Kids are fine when the parents don't fill them with fear and foreboding and judgments. Children are infinitely adaptable and want to be happy, and will be if allowed to. They still have the capacity to feel emotion and let it move qickly -- until you teach them that suffering is required. Children do not suffer over your divorce unless you teach them they should!
What does it teach your kids when you stay in a situation that is not a match for you anymore, especiall if you are negative about it? That you should lie to yourself, them, and each other? That your happiness is dependent on someone else? That change and evolution are bad? That following your inner guidance is OK as long as everyone else approves it? That feeling as good as you possibly can is unimportant?
That's how kids' Instrument Panels get scrambled! They learn from adults that good feels bad and bad feels good. Then they grow up not being able to tell which way is up. Be real with kids. They cannot be fooled, unless you've already thoroughly scrambled them.
If you don't choose things that feel right to you, they may not ever be able to do it either, unless, God Bless Them, they rebel and decide to do it different than you did. Always honor your partner to the kids to the end, but do it authentically. Clean up your own stuff about it, and move on having only authentically good things to say.
Relationships, for me, have always been reflective of my evolution. As I look back, each one reflects the consciousness I was in at the time. Each one was a different reality. That's the way my evolution has been.... many loves, and many lives in this body. It's OK with me that it's been that way (and isn't it a good thing it is!) and it's OK with me if it continues to be that way. I am also open to a lifelong relationship, but not attached to it one bit.
People have asked me if I think I'll ever have a "till death do us part" relationship. I always laugh and say, "Well, at some point I'll be with someone ..... and we'll be so old ..... one of us will have to die!" I'm joking, sort of. But seriously, I don't measure the value of a relationship by its length. One of the most precious loves of my life was with me for only five years. I do not wish we were together now, although I relish the memories, and will love and adore him till the day I die. We say "I love you" when we see each other, exchanging long hugs. We were a match back then. Now we are not, and we both know that. My world of today blows his mind, and the rapid evolution isn't something he wants to keep up with. His dreams and intestes lie elsewhere, in music and music promotion. His pace of evolution is of an easier going nature.
I don't measure the value of a relationship, or a life, by its length. I think the obsession with length of term is more a measure of the fear of endings and death than it is about valuing the actual life or relationship. I have no fear of death or endings. Sure, my mind says fearful things, but I stopped believing everything my mind says long ago. Endings are as natural as anything on this planet. Living on a ranch has shown me the cycles of life and death up close. The chickens live short lives, and the cats are often eaten by coyotes. More come, then they go.
The endings are illusory anyway. We don't die, and relationships don't ever end, even after so-called divorce, or death. That's why I urge you to clean up your relationships with everyone living or dead. You are still one with them and the relationship is still alive and affecting you right now.
Much love to you all,
Lola
PS - I wrote a book on dating and relationships: Dating To Change Your Life. This book was written before Divine Openings, so Divine Openings is far more powerful in your relationship journey, and the Divine Openings book is more advanced. But the dating book has transformed many lives and relationships. Ask the Presence which you're ready for and can most hear NOW.
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