I confronted myself. Can you?
Recently I was blessed with a valuable opportunity to confront myself.
I lost my temper with someone. I had taken someone else's word that she'd done something, and my inner tigress got involved. It left some scratch marks on this surprised friend.
I'm being colorful.
Words don't leave any scratch marks, but they sure can sting.
Turns out she didn't do anything inappropriate after all.
I was wrong.
We hurt ourselves when we hurt someone else.
To me it always feels much worse to hurt someone than to have someone hurt me, although when we get down to it, it's just the left hand hurting the right hand either way.
Ouch! I stung me. I didn't sleep much that night.
The next day I contacted her, took 100% responsibility, said I was wrong, had no excuse, apologized, and expressed how much I value her.
Can you confront yourself?
It may feel hard, but it takes the small self right out of the driver's seat.
It gives you strength and maturity.
Can you say "I was wrong?"
If you can't, your spiritual maturity will not happen.
If you must always be right, if you cannot admit to errors and having hurt others: the small self is in charge.
The mind goes crazy trying to run from the truth. It toughens up its defenses, and keeps on building its justifications, soon your hard drive space is all tied up in it...
Bye bye inner peace.
If it doesn't rob your peace to hurt someone, uh-oh, the small self is not only driving the bus, it's headed for the ditch.
Get your peace back.
If you can say "I love you, I was wrong, I apologize," without a victim vibration, you'll gain humility, softness, and maturity.
Say it with compassion for your very human self as well as for the person you hurt.
So we don't one day become perfect?
And it would be dangerous to think so.
If you think you are perfect, that you never do anything harmful, you're headed for the ditch, but looking damn proud all the way.
You don't need to be perfect--just honest, just clear.
Say softly, "I'm not perfect, but I am accountable."
Clean up anything you did or said that hurt someone, for your own freedom.
Now your mind can stop spinning in justification and misery, and your hard drive space is freed up, even if they don't forgive you.
She did forgive me.
Peace descends again.
Warm Divine Mother Hugs, Lola Jones
PS -- There's this odd principle that in a dispute, both people run for the victim circle, because the victim is the "innocent one." Leap out of the victim circle and get powerful instead.
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